Friends and Felons (Insp. by Lewis Carroll)

Getting lazy:

I dreamed of the short haired girl with knobby knees
And the petulant pooch festered with fleas
Of a seductive siren with audible stutter
And being usurped by a younger brother
The sharks in the ocean that swim with glee
Come all at once and bear down on me

Going crazy:

Retreat to a place where no sane people go
Sexual freedom, friends, and drugs all in tow
Like your first day in Hell, it all seems droll
Until the host grabs knife and demands his toll
Some get upset, but most of them laugh
It's not a party of people but rather of raff

Crescendo:

They all come and go, avoiding to see
That their work reeks of forgery
Hushed whispers and secrets, masks and disguises
Hiding devils and despots of all shapes and sizes
The perverted truth left to seep from the seams
From a patchwork of plans and terrible schemes

Blame:

Accusations and assumptions turn saviors to serpents
Dump out their bags and search through the contents
Interrogate and torture all who might plunder
Mistrust is learned and deceit is their blunder
Muster our troops and prepare for attack
As defense fails and dark villains stack

She says:

Lock up the good; set the criminals free
I'll overwhelm them with lies and hypocrisy
The drugs and abuse make my comments so crass
That I'll smear my goodbye with lipstick on glass
Empty bottles of vodka and sharp shattered dishes:
My response to presents and kind Christmas wishes

I say:

Pass me the pills and say all your prayers
'Cause you will never have me or get my several deep layers
Take your psychobabble your buzzwords and put them on the shelf
'Cause my treasure, my precious is only myself
Try on new clothes and leave me to pay.
The bills stack up; lie that you'll pay me back someday.

Today:

The turtles and tadpoles tell over tea
of all these things and others to me
Dream instead of the light-hearted girl in the breeze
Or the loyal pooch in the shade of the trees
Feast on dark green veggies that spread like butter
and mumble soft calming whispers to soothe like a mother

The Bridge

People like to ask me, "Hey, you were in the Army, right? What was Iraq like? Ya ever shoot anybody?"

Yeah, I was in the Army. Yes, I went to Iraq. I was even on the front lines. I shot my rifle plenty but I have no idea where every bullet went. The army spent over $500,000 and 15 months preparing me for Iraq. They taught me how to shoot, move, communicate, kill, and survive on three continents but every time people ask me about Iraq, I tell them that it's a horrible place. They say, "Is it really that bad over there?" I always tell them the same story.

The Army is a great place to find out who you are but the lessons can be painful. From the moment you get off the bus, someone starts yelling at you and they do not stop until you retire or die. The drill sergeants do their best to teach you how to follow orders; in fact they like to tell you all the terrible things that can happen if you don’t. Then they tell you about “illegal orders.” That’s when someone who outranks you orders you to break the law or commit a war crime. They like to tell you about all the terrible things that can happen if you follow an illegal order. I remember getting frustrated.

“They can arrest me for doing what they told me to do! If I refuse to follow an order and it turns out to be legit, they can arrest me for that too!”

What they are preparing you for are the times when there is no right thing to do. They are preparing you for a place that constantly challenges the neat black and white of right and wrong; a place where human life is worth only slightly more than gasoline and less than a gun. You have to do what you’re told; even if it makes you a bad person. That's what it was like in Iraq.

After my unit had some success in Balad, we were redeployed to Samarra. Samarra was a particularly seweresque city. The riots had just been subdued and the people were now under U.S. military control. I'm using the word "control" loosely. Basically, there was no control. It just meant a curfew. Every man, woman, and child had to be inside their homes by 6pm, or 1800 military time. Anyone found outside of their home or attempting to enter or leave the city could be shot on sight. Shoot first; ask questions in the daylight.

Our job, aside from patrolling the city, was to guard the 3 roads into town. I was in charge of guarding the road to the west which led to a bridge. The Samarra Bridge, despite being only 2 lanes wide, was very long. On the far side was a desert wasteland. On my side was a short road leading to the city only bending around my Bradley Infantry Fighting Vehicle, or "Brad" for short. The Brad is a bit like a small tank and routinely carries enough firepower to level a neighborhood.

Usually, there would be 3 of us: Staff Sergeant Buchan, the Bradley Commander, Specialist Soto, the Gunner, and me, Private First Class Taillefer, the driver. Due to the fact that we were on 12-hour guard duty instead of running missions, Sergeant Buchan stayed at the base making life terrible for the guys who had to clean. Two soldiers are the minimum for such a long shift, so Soto and I were on our own.

We walk through deep mud and thick smoke until we reached our post, a lone Brad in the middle of the desert facing a bridge to nowhere. When we arrive, I take off my helmet and use it to knock loudly on the troop door in the back. Two of my friends have been waiting for us. They drop the loading ramp on the back of the vehicle and climb out.

“You’re late,” Engleman complains.

“You should be watching the bridge instead of the clock,” I shoot back.

Up 'till now, the works been easy. All we had to do was sit around and watch people drive over a bridge. Then, at 1730, half an hour before curfew, we would announce that we were closing the bridge. At 1800, we moved barbed wire into the road. Then, we'd just kick back until dawn when our relief would show up. Every few hours I would take a turn watching the bridge and let Soto take a break. Normally during our respective breaks, I would be reading cheap donated paperbacks, and Soto would sleep. Every so often Soto would interrupt my novel to tell me a story or talk about life back home. Every so often I would start the engine to keep the batteries charged and count the hours before we could head back. We take our positions and prepare for a long night.

1630… My eyes are blurry and tired. I need a break from my romance novel. I tell Soto that I'm going to take a shift for awhile. Cars race across the bridge; especially military vehicles which don't have to obey any kind of speed limit. Civilians slow down to navigate the serpentine roadblock in front of the Brad's main gun. Adults stare straight ahead unblinking. Small, smiling faces would wave and inside my hatch, under ten inches of armor, looking through bulletproof periscopes, I would smile and wave back.

1730… I radio the TOC, or tactical operations center, and tell them that the bridge will be closing soon. I radio observation post “blue” and describe the last vehicle in line to cross the bridge, a little light blue sedan.

The cars cross the bridge and he radios back, “Roger that O.P. Green, I've got a big yellow bongo truck followed by a little blue sedan. Last vehicle received. Bridge is closed, out.” I open a bag of chips and relax a bit knowing that the worst part of the shift is over; nothing to do now but sit tight and wait for our replacements.

1750… I’m seeing things. I must be seeing things because there's a car approaching the bridge from the far side. This shouldn't be happening. It shouldn't even be possible. The only cars on the road should be military. Why didn't the last checkpoint stop them? Unless they avoided the checkpoint altogether.

I start yelling at my gunner, “Soto! Soto, you up?”

Soto sounds sleepy, “Tally, what’s going on?”

The great thing about the U.S. military is, when something goes wrong, everyone turns in to an alert, level headed professional.

“I've got a vehicle headed toward the bridge.”

Soto doesn't hesitate for a second. The main gun whirs to life and trains the barrel on the little car tracking it automatically with a press of a button while Soto calls the TOC in his usual swarthy Puerto Rican accent,

“Roughrider TOC, this is O.P. Green, over.”

A second later, the radio crackles to life spraying some loud mouth radio operator all over the inside of our headsets, “O.P. Green, this is Roughrider TOC. Go ahead, over.” I turn down my volume.

Soto explains the situation to the radio operator as quickly, calmly, and specifically as he can so that no time is wasted. As he speaks, I watch the rising plume of dust that follows the little car to our position. I'm not listening to the radio. I'm trying to see how many people are in the car but it's still so far away.

The voice on the other end is no longer the radio operator, but the Lieutenant himself, “DO NOT LET THAT VEHICLE PAST YOU, OVER!” The order is spoken so loudly and clearly that there is no mistaking it and there is no arguing.

Soto replies, “Request permission for a warning shot, over.” A tense moment passes...

“O.P. Green, request denied, over.”

Soto keys the internal vehicle radio and asks, "Well, Tally, what should I do?"

I was always the safe one. I was the one that kept us out of trouble. I wanted to go home. But I didn't know what to say at first.

“We’ll light him up 100 meters before he touches the bridge; that way we don’t accidentally blow it up, that should give us enough time to score a hit.”

We both know that a single round from the main gun will turn that car into an empty taco shell. I watch the tiny car grow larger. Soto dials up a high explosive round and trains the gun between the car and the bridge. My eyes stop blinking. I take a long breath and hold it.

The car stops just before Soto squeezes the trigger. A man gets out of the driver’s seat with his hands so high above his head; he looks like a child asking his mother to pick him up. He walks this way, with his hands up, taking giant awkward steps toward the bridge. I get my binoculars and begin a visual inspection for weapons while Soto Radios the TOC again. The man wears the basic Iraqi man's uniform. A man dress, brown flip-flops, and darkly tanned skin. He starts walking over the bridge. By now, Soto has explained everything to the TOC, and we're waiting for a response.

“O.P. Green, find out what he wants and send him away. He is not to enter this city. Is that understood? Over.”

“Roger that, over.” Soto sounds pleased to receive an order that doesn't include shooting the man.

We both sit and stare at him as he makes his way over the bridge. It seems to take hours to get halfway. As he walks, arms still pressed to the clear desert sky, we take a few minutes to come up with a plan. We agree that I should be the one to engage him. Soto would keep the main gun trained on his car and operate the radio. I load my rifle, turn off the engine and open my hatch.

The sun and wind and sand blasts my eyes and for a moment, it feels as if I have been asleep for a very long time. My eyes gradually adjust, I carefully lower my boots to the ground, and compose myself. I wait for the man to enter earshot before I raise my weapon. I tell him to stop.

“AWGFU!” I yelled. The man, hands still high above his head, stops so suddenly he almost falls over. I take a step forward and ask, “Aan-dek Is-lah?”

He responds in English, “No! No weapons!”

I lower my rifle and verify, “You speak English?”

Sweat pours from the man's face and he says, “Yes, English- no weapon!”

I am relieved because that's all the Arabic I know. I calmly insist, “The city is closed. You can’t come here. You have to go back.”

The man begins to explain, “We come from hospital in next town. Americans shoot my daughter. She dies today. I go home now.” He points to the city behind me. Soto has started calling the TOC as a woman holding a small child gets out of the car and starts walking across the bridge.

I nervously wait for Soto to finish talking on the radio. I keep a tight grip on my rifle and shift my gaze so that I can keep an eye on the man and his wife and the baby in her arms. The woman crosses the bridge in what seems like seconds and now I hold the entire family at gunpoint as I wait for Soto to receive further instructions. The man explains the situation to his wife in Arabic. She starts to sob uncontrollably. She hands him the child just in time to fall to the ground screaming and begging in my general direction in a language I do not understand. I’m getting anxious.

I start to speak loudly to the man, practically yelling over the sobs of his wife, "You should go back to your car and drive back to the hospital. They will let you sleep there. You can come back tomorrow. If you try to enter the city tonight, we will shoot you."

The man is shaking his head before I'm finished talking, "We cannot! If we return to the hospital, the guards there will shoot us!" I know the man is right. Soto is still on the radio negotiating an escort to take them home. My eyes meet Soto's but they're filled with sorrow. He lowers the radio and shakes his head. The man begs me, "We sleep in the car?" Soto relays the question on to the radio.

He shakes his head and looks back at me, “TOC says if they park on the side of a road, they’ll be blown up by any convoy that passes.” The baby in the man's arms begins to cry.

I remember a story that I had heard about an American tourist that gave a family twenty American dollars to sleep in their house overnight until U.S. forces could arrive. I think to myself that there’s a nearby village where they may be able to hide and an idea starts to form. I check my pockets, but it's been months since I've needed money. I ask Soto if he has any money, but he only shakes his head once more.

I tell the man, “Here’s what you’re gonna do: You’re gonna get in your car and drive to the nearest village and you’re gonna tell them that you need to stay with them tonight or the Americans are gonna kill you. Do you understand?”

Over his crying wife, and the screaming child in his arms, the man says, “They are not my tribe; they will kill us or American soldiers will shoot us as we drive.” I look at Soto for help, but he looks back with a lost look in his eyes and closes himself in to his hatch. The TOC had given up. Soto had given up... I gave up.

I point my rifle at the family and yell as ferociously as I can, “Walk away! Get outta here!” The woman begins to howl in anguish as if someone has stabbed her in the back. “Walk Away!” I shout again, but it's not the roar I wanted. The words catch in my throat and I fight back tears as I make my way around the track to my hatch. The man walks back to his wife, still in a heap on the hot sand in the twilight sun. He helps her to her feet and without looking back, they make their way across the bridge once more, weeping the entire way.

I drop into the driver's seat and slam my hatch closed. It's now 1830, if they tried to drive anywhere their car would be destroyed. If they tried to walk they would be shot. Even the baby knew that much. Through my periscope I watch the man start his car, turn around, and drive away. I turn off my reading light and watch the sunset.

Soto and I spent the rest of that guard shift in silence. I did not read. He did not sleep. We looked out into the darkness hoping for a sign that they were okay, but it never came. Soto and I sat together on guard shift numerous times. We were always waiting for the day when the Fedayeen would try to take back the city, or the day when we would have to protect each other from some crazed Jihadi with with a suicide bomb, or the day when we'd meet our first real Taliban, but it never came. Just a mourning family trying to get home.

Soto and I never talked about what happened. We were just being good soldiers. We did as we were told. Not long after that, I left the military. I swore I would never have to carry out orders like that again. Soto died during his second tour of Iraq. Sometimes I still think about him and whether he would have handled it differently if he had been the one on the ground. I still have nightmares about that family. I never asked any of their names but I remember their faces so clearly.

They try to prepare you as best they can. The drill sergeants did their best to teach me how to follow orders; in fact they liked to tell me all the terrible things that could happen if I didn’t. But they never mentioned the terrible things that could happen if I did. I learned a lot about myself in the Army. I just wish the lessons hadn't been so painful.

Part III: Burning Man: A Full body Salute to Madness, Identity, and the American Dream

“When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.”
-Dr. Hunter S. Thompson

We were somewhere outside of Reno when the drugs began to wear off and return what was left of our sanity to our tattered minds and withered bodies. I had been told by a close friend and emotional confidant that many things in my life were in danger of setting me on an inescapable course that could make me into one of the things that I hated most, a zombie.

I can clearly remember as a boy, lying to my mother that my schoolwork was too hard. I remember a doctor, some greasy, ratfink, manipulative, lying, bastard of a quack, telling my mother that he could “cure” my bad grades with a pill. I remember my mother telling him (right in front of me, mind you) “I don’t want a zombie for a son.” Finally, I remember her begrudgingly giving me the pills. To her credit, she only gave them to me on school days, before and after class (for homework), never over the summer, and only for 4 years until I got into sixth grade and told her I didn’t need them anymore.

Zombies are mindless drones capable of thought only in quick bursts and only for very basic things such as cold or hunger or fatigue. They can readily be seen in any typical office building wearing ridiculous neckpieces that serve no purpose and drinking bland coffee out of a mug and making small talk about the weather and the showings on local or cable television the night before.

To be a zombie, as my mother knew, was not acceptable behavior for a young man, such as myself, who had never taken seriously the word of any of the ridiculous forefathers who had handed him this world of cyclical violence, lies, and dead-end roads. There was only one thing to do: in the words of some long forgotten poet, “Buy the ticket, take the ride.”

So I left… I left everything behind and wandered into the desert in search of answers; some kind of vision quest which would lead me to a new evolution of being like Jesus did, so I packed a suitcase full of temptation and turned west. What I had not realized at the time was that the answers were for later. No, this trip was about finding the questions.

When I arrived in the desert the landscape was like nothing on Earth or even imaginable by man; not possibly one man you understand, but possibly by all of mankind. There was most notably, the sand which was thin, alkaline, and omnipresent. It possessed a chemical composition which could eat away at your flesh. So much so, that your sweaty feet could not help but act like a magnet for the dust and the skin between your toes would turn green like the terminals on a car battery and so people would walk around and pour cool vinegar on your tired feet. The sand stretched out far in every direction and the wind would often blow it around in to your nose or eyes if you let it. Whiteout conditions were common and did little to stop the joyous atmosphere around me. No, all the sandstorms did was add to the disorienting nature of it all. Disoriented I was, but not lost.

Secondly, there was the art. Huge, shining beacons to creativity, freedom, happiness, imagination, and at least a partial disregard for safety. “Safety Third,” as they say and leave you wondering what comes first and second. Don’t let me be misunderstood, the whole event could probably be called one of the safest gatherings of over 50,000 people ever, if it weren’t for the god forsaken heat during the day, which makes going nude a totally viable (and socially acceptable) thing to do.

As I hung over 30 feet in the air above the hard desert floor from a huge phallic misshapen metal sculpture, I had to ask myself a number of questions: 1. Why would someone build this thing? 2. What was it supposed to be? And 3. What would happen to me if I fell? To the good people of this fabulous desert oasis, the answers to these questions didn’t really matter; after all, safety third.

This brings me to the final and possibly most important element to the Burning Man experience: the people, oh god, the people. Every kind of person is already there. You can’t begin to possibly imagine with whom you could come in contact. A pot smoking, behavioral psychologist that drinks white wine straight from the bottle? Or possibly a mushroom eating, radiologist from the bay area who rides a motorized skateboard? Or maybe a polyamorous, nudist, fireman whose wife was recently diagnosed with cancer?
Perhaps you’re thinking, “I could never strike up a conversation with those people.” Luckily, you don’t have to. Those people think of each other like family. No need for money, either. People share the way children would. Remember when you were a kid and you opened up a box of cookies in a crowd. Everyone reached inside the box and took one. And you felt special to be the one holding the box. That’s everyday over there.

Now it’s all over. Another Burning Man done and in the can. “See ya next year, Charlie!” We all dust ourselves off, try to focus our vision, and steady our hands as we got behind the wheel and started the long drive back to wherever we call home. Burning Man doesn’t exist in the real world; only for those seven days in the sand. My travelling companion is asleep and I’m left to ponder the surreal series of events which have transpired in the last week, but really, over the course of the last year.

My sister once said, “Burning Man is the place where you can do your favorite thing all day long with other people, no matter what it is.” Sometimes I’m in the room when someone asks her about Burning Man. All she can ever say is, “Dude… It’s crazy.” I always need to be careful around these people. It is a logical train of thought to realize that it IS crazy. Sometimes they figure out that the people they’re talking to voluntarily lived in the desert for a week. They always seem to get a very strange, distrustful look in their eyes. It’s always around this time that my sister tells them I’m going to be a writer… “My brother’s a writer,” she says, “you should hear him read something he’s written, it’s so crazy,” she says, “he’s amazing.” And sometimes, when I’m feeling overly sentimental, a tear runs down my face… and I say, “I’m going to start writing more.” My sister knows that’s a big decision for me. I figure, if you're going to be crazy, you have to get paid for it or else you're going to be locked up.

Part II: A Tangled Tale: Poems on Burning Man

"O Oysters, come and walk with us!"
The Walrus did beseech.
"A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk,
Along the briny beach
-Lewis Carroll

Harveywood

The pixie and the paladin both made quite a pair;
with sword and shield and long curly hair.
On white horseback they rode swiftly to town
Kicking dust as they went but never touching the ground.
Waiving and singing to the townsfolk with glee
‘til they arrived at the church and the priestess and her tea.
The church bell sat quiet and still while they sang
until the knight with sword sounded a “CLANG!”

They rang it and waited until someone cried,
"Paladin and pixie! Here you'll reside!"
"Welcome to Harveywood!” out called the Priestess.
Her kindness was something that left them both speechless.
“Where is home?” asked the Pixie, “we both need some rest.”
The priestess replied, “Where you are now; and surely you jest!
This is the place that you’ve wanted to be
going to sleep is a crime here, you see.”

“If you must go to bed, then give me no hassle;
Nay, go lie down in your elegant castle.”
“We have no castle, as you can plainly see,
new to this land, is this pixie and me.”
“We have not a castle, or a house, or a shack.
We had only food and elixir to pack.”
“Well now you are here and it’s a castle you'll need;
just open your heart and I’ll plant the seed.”

The castle sprang forth with a sudden blast of light;
it stood on a path that was just to the right.
“Where is our castle, where I’m to be crowned?”
She said, “If you can tell time, then it can be found.
Your castle’s not where, but rather it’s when;
If you want somewhere to live, then inquire within.

The Castle of Fate

“Follow close,” said the knight to the pixie, “The treasure map’s true!”
“Do not ride too fast,” said the pixie to the knight, “or I cannot follow you.”
“If you want not to follow, you shouldn’t embark
because where we are going is out in the dark.”
The pixie got scared and flew closer still
The pixie got hurt after taking a spill.
Out in the darkness, where few would conspire,
tall in the night, stood a castle and spire!

They approached the castle which was covered in flowers
It sat in the dark, surrounded by towers.
The guard came and asked, “Do you mean us harm?”
“No,” said the knight, “our only weapon is charm!”
“Then you may enter, but ‘fore I lower the gate,
pause and ponder on the castle of fate!”
“That sounds like a warning we just can’t abide;
fate’s something from which we never shall hide.”

The guard demanded the fates be given such center:
“give what you want and then you may enter.”
The paladin answered: a confused savant,
“I want what you have, but don’t have what you want!”
The guard demanded the fates be given their due.
The knight emptied his pockets till his face had turned blue.
“I gave what I had; how much more can I give?”
“Give up what you want ‘less all you want is to live.”
And it trickled through his head
like water through a sieve.

They entered the castle on a cloud of pure white
so they peeked for a place they could sleep for the night.
“The palace is full. We must sleep in the basement.”
They smoked, and drank, and away the night went
But out in the darkness, just in his view,
the knight saw a light and that’s when he knew!
“Someone’s approaching, that’s all I can see.
I can see him, but he can’t see me!”

The Song of the Mermaid

The Paladin and the Pixie danced hand in hand.
They kissed and swore they’d never leave the sand.
Just then, a school of fish passed disturbingly near
and the Paladin thought, “Fish in the desert seem especially queer.”
The Pixie spoke up, “Let’s go for a swim.”
and jumped right in, as if the knight was dim.
The Paladin was close behind; “water sounds good to me!”
But there’s a problem with a knight in the water, you see…

When he jumped in, his armor dragged him down.
The water, which once was blue, got thick and turned brown.
He kicked and swam and tried to breathe water.
But the more he struggled the more he would falter.
When he reached the bottom he tried to march, as soldiers often do,
and realized that water is something you just can’t march through.
A mermaid stopped and stared and began to sing
filling the knights ears with a soft hypnotic ring.

The mermaid and the paladin paraded across the land.
They stopped and ate atop the salty sand.
Her fish peeked in to find they weren’t alone
and begged the mermaid that she might take them all home.
“I cannot leave a brave knight so dire;
on the ocean floor in the muck and the mire.”
So they met on the beach where no one would be
And said their goodbyes where no one would see.

The paladin stood with no sense of grace
And the mermaid kissed him just once on the face.
“I’ll think of you always,” said the mermaid to the knight
“I’ll think of you most when you’re farthest from sight.”
The cold water took him, the knight, just then
and transported him back to a time before sin.
The song of the siren left a mark on his mind.
His night with the mermaid had left the knight blind.

Part I: An Ideal Husband

OR... Why it’s Not Only Zombies That Lose Their Minds: a short story in 3 parts

“Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.”
-Oscar Wilde

“What’s one thing you’d like to do before you die?”

“Why? Are you dying?” Kathryn instantly snaps on one of her famously suspicious looks back at Laurent.

“No, I was just thinking that I’m starting to feel a bit long in the tooth, you see. You know what they say, ‘One can survive everything, nowadays, except death, and live down everything except a good reputation.’ I don’t want to die without any scars… I feel like my life is an empty stage.”

Kathryn is incredulous, “Without any scars? You must have plenty of scars! You were in the army! Of course you think your life is too boring; you once told me you felt most at home on some far flung battlefield.”

Laurent grins broadly, “That is exactly what I mean! There is no battle; no more adventures.”

Kathryn says nothing. She only smiles and pulls from under the table a small box that sat as innocently on the floor as a church mouse and now sits between them in the spacious, bohemian, downtown apartment. The walls are oak and covered with streams of red fabric and only interrupted by the occasional framed mirror or print from some long forgotten painter. She takes out a stack of snapshots and finally pauses on a particular series of images.

“Do you see that?” Kathryn taps the photograph lightly. On the back, blue handwriting reads: “Burning Man.” The first photo in her hand contains two life size diesel trucks bent backwards like contortionists. One truck is stuck to the middle of the other and they both tower above a crowd of eclectically dressed and most likely, drug addled miscreants in the middle of a barren desert. He takes the photos and turns to the next. It contains a huge bus that has been outfitted to look like the ship of a pirate complete with two huge masts grasping tightly to billowing white sails and loaded with scantily clad women in pink cowboy hats.

“What exactly am I to glean from these images, Kathryn? Perhaps some newfound respect for a tribe that makes art of rubbish?” Laurent stares at the photos searching for evidence of tampering; feebly looking for a logical explanation for the odd assortment of images collected in such a tiny box.

“These were all taken at Burning Man; it’s a seven day social experiment in the desert outside of Reno, Nevada. Over fifty-thousand people travel to a dried up basin that was once a lake and take with them all the provisions they’ll need: food, water, shelter, spirits, and of course, proper apparel for the balls that you will surely be attending… everything.”

Laurent’s face seemed to fill with concern as she spoke. She took his hand, gave him a reassuring smile and continued.

“They live there and have a weeklong festival among gargantuan, intricate, art installations that are so amazing, they say your mind is left with no alternative but to be changed forever. They use a gift economy, which means nothing is bought or sold on the premises. If you need something, you just ask; if you have extra, you share; everyone there is like family.” Kathryn’s face beams with excitement as she does her best to describe the event.

“It sounds absurd…” Laurent turns his head sideways, still staring at the photograph, as if it will help to unravel why people would subject themselves to the torments of living in a wasteland for days with no reasonable place to freshen one’s self.

“You wanted to try something new. If you want to become a writer, you need to experience things worth writing about!” Kathryn’s smile begins to fade.

Laurent shrugs, “I do want to try new things; I almost died in the war. I just don’t want nude photographs of myself floating about town.”

Kathryn laughs, “Then don’t take any! Why did you even ask me? You can wear your little sweater vest if you want.”

She gestures down at his outfit. He looks down at his tan pants and light blue dress shirt. Around his neck he wears a loosened red necktie and a red and blue plaid sweater vest; both were gifts from his paramour. He raises his head slightly to ensure Kathryn fully receives his obvious look of derision.

Laurent takes a deep breath and lowers his voice, no longer in jest, “The only thing is… morality, like art, means drawing a line someplace. I don’t want my future employer finding out I went to some lewd desert party and thinking that I’m some kind of deviant psychopath.”

Kathryn matches his tone but not his viewpoint, “It’s more than a party… It’ll change the way you look at everything. It’s a spiritual event for many people; maybe that’s just what you need.”

“I hardly think a bunch of tree people in funny outfits will change my outlook on life,” he said snidely.

“They have to wear funny outfits! If you want to tell people the truth, you have to make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you!” The corners of Laurent’s mouth rise slightly. “You could use a laugh, I think.”

“I must be off. Dinner it would seem, cannot go on without me.”

“Sounds fun,” her tone is sarcastic but also tinted with true empathy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Laurent walks through the door of the Kobayashi mansion and sits down at a table near the center. The ball room is crowded and although he is late he can quickly tell that he is the first to arrive. He takes a sip from the glass of water in front of him and checks the time with a server girl.

“Who is she?” Carly is behind him and cracks the question above his head like a whip
Carly walks around the table and sits across from Laurent. She sets her handbag on the table between them and folds her hands in front of her, sitting perfectly erect in her seat. She wears an elegant black skirt, white, sleeveless blouse, and perfect dark red lipstick that shows off little more than an over abundance of time. Her dark hair and olive skin belie the fact that she was raised in one of the poorest shires the kingdom has known.

“Well?” The impatience in her tone is palpable.

“I was simply checking the time. How has your day been?”

“My day? Just fantastic! What do you think; I’ve spent all day at what I laughingly call my place of employment. A topic on which I feel I could instruct compared to you… I tried to call you twice.” She begins bouncing her leg on the ball of her foot; creating a soft clacking sound as the heel of her shoe makes contact with the hard, wooden floor. Laurent looks around the room but it seems not to bother anyone else.

“I told you, I was in the theatre with my sister. There are no calls at the theatre. I thought you knew that. Is that not why you tried me at Kathryn’s apartment in the city?”

Carly’s face twitches slightly at the mention of her name, “Right. Kathryn… How is she?”

“She’s well, I suppose.” Laurent slid into his seat. Storm clouds were forming.

“On what did the two of you speak?”

"On a couch I suppose."

As she waits for a serious response, her face deteriorates to a disapproving glare.

“We were talking about things we would like to do before we die.” Laurent smiles warmly as if to communicate the poignant relevance of the subject matter.

Carly’s jaw drops with the same disgust as if someone had just sneezed and reached for her dress to wipe their nose, “We never speak on those topics…”

A tense moment passes... Carly fills out the cards sitting in front of them. Laurent, sensing a line has been crossed, tries to remedy the situation.

“Okay, you are right. What would you like to do before you pass?”

“Kids and estate by 30, account manager by 35, retired by 50, with over $500,000 in the bank.”

Laurent rolled his eyes, “Yes, dear you have told me your 20 year plan before, but that is not exactly what I had meant… Do you not have anything you wanted to do before you got old?”

“You think I’m getting old?!” her jaw drops again.

Laurent sighs, “Forget the entire affair, I suppose that I’m simply trying to carve out my own 20 year plan.”

She dismissively waives away the thought, “Darling, I have plans for both of us.”

The table becomes a vacuum; a graveyard with a single slow tumble weed as another tense moment of silence passes between them. The server arrives just in time. Carly hands her their guest cards containing what they’ll be having for dinner.

“Thank you, I’ll make sure they get this right out.” Laurent cranes his neck to see what she has ordered for them but the server briskly turns and bustles off to the kitchen.